Oh, ha, ha, ha!

You may have seen the recent story about the 29-year-old Missouri convenience store clerk who won the $258 million Powerball jackpot. If not, you'll find it below. As you read it, note the condescending tone of the writer.

Mo. clerk says he'll use $258M jackpot on bills
Apr 23, 2010 (2:24a CDT)
By SARAH D. WIRE (Associated Press Writer)

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. - A Missouri man who won a $258 million Powerball jackpot and plans to use some of the money to pay bills and take his children to Disney World says he hasn't decided yet if he'll quit his job at the convenience store where he bought the winning ticket.

Chris Shaw - a 29-year-old tattooed father of three who was raised by his grandparents in rural southern Missouri - came forward Thursday as the winner of the 10th-largest Powerball jackpot ever. Shaw said he had just $28.96 in his bank account and recently bought a 1998 Ford Ranger from a friend who agreed to let him pay off the $1,000 price $100 at a time. Now, he said, he no longer has to worry about how he'll pay his friend - or his utility bills.

"We didn't come from money. For us it's just going to be a huge relief to know I'm going to be able to pay my electric bill, my gas bill," Shaw told the Associated Press. "It's like a weight lifted. I had bills at home I didn't know how they were going to be paid."

Shaw said he bought the $5 ticket Wednesday at the Break Time convenience store where he works in Marshall, a central Missouri town about 80 miles east of Kansas City. He accepted his ceremonial check at the Missouri Lottery headquarters in Jefferson City wearing a tan and red plaid shirt, a red hat and a huge grin - minus two front teeth he says he lost because he didn't take care of them but can now afford to have replaced.

"I'm just a regular guy working paycheck to paycheck ... well not any more," he said.

Shaw said he needed a few days to decide whether he will keep his minimum-wage job at the store where he has worked for just three weeks. He also plans to seek advice "from people who know about money" about whether to take the jackpot in 30 payments over 29 years or the lump-sum amount of $124,875,122.

His boss, Jackie Maxwell, general manager of the Missouri-based Break Time convenience store chain, was thrilled to hear Shaw had won.

"He's just a great guy, a good employee. When you think of a large winner like this, everyone likes to see that the person who won is somebody like Chris," she said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.

Shaw - who has a 10-year-old son, a 7-year-old girl and a 5-year-old girl by two different women - said he had played Missouri Scratchers lottery tickets before, winning at most $80. He checked his Powerball ticket against the state lottery's website only after his girlfriend, Tosha Ewry, told him the winning ticket was bought at the store where he works.

When Shaw called Ewry back to tell her the news, she thought he was joking, he said. Finally, he said he told her: "I swear on a stack of Bibles, you need to leave work and come home."

The winning numbers were 11-34-41-49-55, Powerball 20. The Power Play number was 2.

Shaw said he looks forward to spending more time with his kids, who live with their mothers about 240 miles southeast of him in his hometown of Alton, as well as with his girlfriend's two sons - 13-year-old and 15-year-old boys Shaw says he considers his own. He plans to take them all to Disney World in Florida.

"I can be with them as much as I want now," Shaw said.

He said his children already have been asking for new skateboards, bicycles and "just stuff that's really hard to do when you make $7.25 an hour."

Break Time will receive $50,000 for selling the winning ticket. If Shaw takes a lump-sum payment, the state income taxes due on the winnings would be about $6 million, state budget director Linda Luebbering said.

Granted, this guy probably did not excel in school, hence the dead-end job, but at least he's doing honest work, something the reporter seemed to take little note of. Instead, she mentioned that he has three children "by two different women," a fact not necessary to know. A lot of people from every social strata have offspring by more than one person, but this must have been too good of an opportunity for the reporter to pass up to laugh up her sleeve at the perceived promiscuity of people like Shaw.

Another barb she shoots from her poison pen is at his most salient feature, his missing teeth. Again, it was not necessary to elaborate on this point. We all know that good oral hygiene is not usually a well-practiced activity among the lower classes, but by enlightening us as to the details of the mystery of his missing incisors, she again shows her condescension of those people. The photo in and of itself is derisive enough; didn't anyone think to ask Shaw to smile with his mouth closed, or at least take a photograph of him from some other perspective? Of course not, for that might have ruined the smirking tone of the piece.

For those who think I'm being a bit picayunish about this report, please re-read it. The evidence is there for all to see.

Incidentally, lest anyone accuse me of hypocrisy, I, too, am not a fan of many of the choices people in Shaw's socio-economic class make. As long as they are supporting themselves, however, and paying their own bills (tattoo bills included), I'll back them, although I will sometimes question the logic of their choices. And, yes, I will still poke fun at them on occasion. But I hope I never get my nose so far up in the air that I devolve into condescension.

Take care.
DAL357

P.S. Good luck to you, Chris Shaw; the world is a wonderful place filled with interesting places and artifacts. Go discover it.

Get away from your usual circle of acquaintances and culture some friends from other social strata, they'll help you see life from another perspective. Not all of it will be good for you (but don't let that scare you), so you'll have to have your BS filter firmly in place.

Read widely, even if you've never enjoyed reading before; at the very least, start listening to audio books, especially those of the classics.

Travel, but do so with an open mind. Believe it or not, America is not the center of the universe and there are other ways of living than the American lifestyle.

Find and retain the very best financial consultant/advisor you can (look to past Powerball winners to help you there). Put yourself on a budget, seriously, and stick to it. Of course, your budget can probably be several hundred thousand dollars a year, but you might be surprised how quickly that money can go if you are not careful. Even your great wealth is finite and there's been more than one sad tale of rags to riches to rags told of lottery winners.

Watch out for the sycophants of the world, for they are legion. Never get married without an iron-clad prenuptial agreement. Perhaps better yet, don't bother getting married at all. It's safer that way. Oh, and get a vasectomy.

Finally, just be careful. Few decisions you will make from now on will need to be made without wise counsultation from an attorney and an accountant. Remember, used correctly, that money will broaden your horizons and enrich your life. Used incorrectly, it will lead you to a crystal meth addiction and an early grave. The choice is yours.

Giving up a little to gain a lot

While I don’t have a lot of personal experience, thankfully, with crime, I have had a few incidents occur in years past that you might benefit from knowing about. Here’s one.

Way back in 1986, on New Year’s Eve, I was returning home from someplace lost in the recesses of my memory. It was an hour or two before 1987 was to begin and my car suddenly went dead, totally kaput. At the time the road it died on was a somewhat lonely two-lane highway on the outskirts of the city. (Now, it’s a major six-lane artery surrounded by thousands of homes and lined with dozens of businesses, but I digress.) With the remaining momentum of the car, I pulled off to a side road, locked the car, and footed it to a 7-11 store about a half-mile away. From there I called my dad, who came to pick me up and we drove to take a look at the car. Neither of us could figure out what was wrong with it, so we decided to wait until morning to fiddle around on it. My dad asked me if I wanted to tow it back to the house, but I said, “No, it’ll be okay here until morning.” (You, no doubt, see where this is going.)

The next morning my brother drove me to my car and I found it not quite in the condition I left it. The car’s windshield was broken, its mirrors were ripped off, the instrument panel was covering cracked, a side window was smashed, and the turn signal lever broken off. The culprit(s) was apparently trying to get at my radio/tape player, but was thwarted by a clever (I thought) trick I employed when I installed the player a few years earlier (I keep my cars for a looong time). What was this trick? A short, stout piece of electrical wire tied to the back of the player and through two small holes I drilled into the firewall, rendering the unit practically impossible for a smash-and-grab thief to lift. Unfortunately, it also had the unintended consequence of infuriating the would-be filcher who, I am certain, took out his frustration on my car. The radio was saved, but at a price of more than five times its value when compared to the damage done to my car.

When I got my car back from the repair shop, the first thing I did was to untie and remove the wire. I didn’t want lightning to strike twice; I’ve learned my lessons. What were those lessons?

1. Be aware that crime can happen at anytime, practically anywhere, and that you are not immune.
2. Make value judgments as to what you are willing to lose; in other words, leave easily-taken fall-guy items for the low-lifes.
3. Listen to and follow through with good advice about preventing crime. (Had I listened to my dad, this could have been avoided, and my net worth would be about $500 more, or greater with interest, today).
4. Crime, and criminals, suck.

I hope this helps you, or someone you know, from repeating my mistakes.*

Take care.
DAL357

*I realize that macho wisdom says to he*l with giving any kind of quarter or reward to criminals, but I have the distinct impression that those who say this are too imbued with Hollywood's scripted versions of how encounters will go down to see reason. Sure, there are things worth defending, but inanimate objects are not usually among them. Giving up a small thing to protect the bigger, more valuable thing doesn't make one a loser, but a winner. You were able to put one over on a predator; that should be cause for celebration.

Yeah, I know you didn't ask, part II.

In another installment of this series (I have no idea if there'll be any more parts or not), I have decided to address the best choice for those who both want to keep things simple and who don't want to pay an exorbitant price for a semi-automatic centerfire rifle in military-like configuration, also mistakenly known as an "assault" rifle. (True assault rifles have the ability to switch between semi-auto and full-auto fire at the flick of a lever.)

As you can tell from the photo, I've chosen a lever-action rifle. Specifically, I've chosen the Marlin 1894C carbine in .38 Special/.357 Magnum. With its 18.5" barrel, it handles easily and really steps up the performance of both the .38 and the .357. Except for extremely rare scenarios, it will do as good a job as a high-dollar "assault" rifle in the hands of a competent operator. Besides that, it's a whole lot of fun to shoot.

Does this mean I am against the "assault" rifle? Heck no! If a person wants one, or a dozen or more, more power to him. Nor does my endorsement of the 1894C mean I think it is the equivalent of an "assault" rifle, for they are two different bullet-launching platforms. I'm speaking merely from a price/simplicity (it has its own internal magazine) standpoint.

As far as performance, I can remember chronographing some factory 158-grain JSP .357 Mag. ammo and getting several hundred more FPS than I got with the same load in a revolver. With my softball .38 Spl. handloads I was able to get nearly 200 FPS more than out of a revolver. Plus, the accuracy was excellent at the range I usually shoot this rifle, 25 yards (yeah, I know accuracy should be good at that short of a range; when the weather warms, I'll have to try it at 50 and 100 yards, but I have little doubt it will perform well at those ranges too).

One concern/complaint I've heard about using lever-action rifles for self-defense is, especially with a true rifle cartridge such as the .30-30, that they tend to heat up quickly and they aren't robust enough for long strings of fire, which is no doubt the truth. But the 1894C is chambered for a pistol cartridge, and I've fired several dozen .38 Spl. rounds in quick succession without any problem. Besides, how many rounds are you likely to need in the average (outliers be damned) self-defense situation?

If you're intent on getting an "assault"-like rifle, by all means, get one. If, however, you are balking at the prices they are going for these days, or you just want a simple, dependable repeating rifle that will serve you well, within its particualar limitations, of course, take a close look at a lever-action rifle chambered in a pistol caliber, especially if that caliber is .38 Special/.357 Magnum.

Take care.
DAL357

Yeah, I know you didn't ask.

Yeah, I know you didn't ask the question, "If I could get by with only ONE handgun, which should it be?" But, being the prescient, not to mention nice, guy I am, I knew you were thinking of asking it, so here's your answer:

The Ruger SP101 in .357 Mag. (but shoot mostly .38 Special in it) with a 2 1/4" barrel, although the 3 1/16" barrel would work also.

That's it. That's all I am going to say about this gun. You can do a search on the 'Net to find out why it's a such a good choice for the average Joe/Jo.

Incidentally, you're welcome.

Take care.
DAL357

Bailout, shmailout

As is often the case in life, intelligence is no guarantee of making the right decision. Take the debate on the automobile industry bailout for example. I've recently heard more than one otherwise intelligent person pontificate that the government should give money to that ailing industry, but only with strings attached. Those strings would include governmental oversight that the industry was using the money correctly and somehow, via the wise hand of the governmental guidance (BWAHAHAHA!), miraculously seeing the light and changing the deeply entrenched, decades-long, error of its ways.

HUH?

Note to the power brokers in DC, aka elected politicians and appointed bureaucrats: Why would you want to complicate your life like that? And who are you to give advice to anyone on the judicious use of money and organizational management? You've been spending more than you bring in for many, many years, so you have absolutely no standing to be giving advice to anyone. Let me help you to make your collective lives easier so you can concentrate on what you do best: bamboozling enough of your constituents to win your next term.

Okay, here's what you do, political creatures. Let the auto industry sink or swim on its own without one penny of taxpayer money. No special committees, commissions, or agency need be created to direct or give advice to the industry. This will free up plenty of time to hire prostitutes (male or female, as your preference dictates), diddle pages (male or female, as your preference dictates [right, Barney?]), make the party circuit, play in bathroom stalls, perform clandestine dope deals, fight the war on drugs, lard unneeded bills with pork (gotta keep those porkers at home happy), polish your lies, secretly siphon off ill-gotten money (taxes) for personal use, incite class warfare and envy, curry and grant favors to industries who kowtow to you, and generally be the log-in-the-eye slobs, sybarites, and sycophants you've always been.

That's a lot of activity and we are all only given 24 hours in a day, so don't complicate your life by taking on tasks that another system, the free market, can handle; you'll need your time and rest for the above exhaustive pursuits. Enjoy your life now, for if there is one after this, you likely won't. Don't worry, the free market excels at taking care of businesses that have become bloated and inefficient as a result of bad decisions. Let the free market take that wheezing, sweating, obese industry for a trip to boot camp and watch the lean, mean fighting machine that returns. That's right, the industry will survive in one form or another, perhaps not in Detroit, but it will survive. The phoenix that arises from the ashes will be able to compete with any other car maker on the planet. And the best part is you won't have to lift a finger for any of this to take place.

Sound like a deal? Good! Now get on out there, tiger, and pursue the illicit activities you were bred for!

Take care.
DAL357

Lee and me

Three cheers for Lee's Liquid Alox! If you are a reloader, you've likely at least heard about this concoction, if not used it yourself. LLA is a bullet lubricant that helps keep lead smearing out of a firearm's barrel when using lead bullets driven at sane velocities. Since I've only used it for lead bullets pushed to moderate speeds (approx. 750-850 fps) in the .38 Spl. cartridge, that's all I can authoritatively comment on. Prior to using LLA, I would routinely have to scrub lead--lots of lead--out of the barrels of my revolvers after firing them. The lead bullets I used were commercially manufactured and had hard lube in their lube rings, but that lube might as well have not been there for all the good it did.

Somewhere along the line, I got the idea to use LLA on my bullets to supplement the lousy lube that already came on the bullets. Since that time, I've had absolutely zero leading problems. As an added bonus, LLA couldn't be simpler to use: just take an old plastic container, place a couple of handfuls of lead bullets inside, shoot a squirt or two of LLA on the bullets, and swirl the container until they're all coated, which doesn't take long. Then, put the bullets on a piece of wax paper and let them dry overnight. After that, they're ready to load. Simple, eh?

I have heard that LLA has its limitations, mainly when bullets get much beyond about 1200 fps. Past that speed, leading can/will occur. But, since I don't plan to shoot lead bullets at that speed (that's what jacketed bullets are for), LLA suits my purposes just fine.

One other use I've read about for Lee Liquid Alox is as a rust preventative. Although I haven't used it for that purpose, I can see how it would work well in that role, and not just for guns. Anything metal that you might want to put into long-term storage could well benefit from a coating of LLA. Of course, you'll have to clean it off once the item is taken from storage, and that will take a little work since LLA dries somewhat hard, but the item should be in fine, rust-free shape afterwards.

If you haven't tried LLA, do yourself a favor and get a bottle. It's relatively cheap, about five bucks for a 4-oz. bottle, and it lasts a long time. I've coated about 1500 bullets so far and less than half of the bottle is gone.

Take care.
DAL357